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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235778">when the birds fell from the sky</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyssa_kei/pseuds/lyssa_kei'>lyssa_kei</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Father-Son Relationship, Mentioned Character Death, Minor Character Death, also THIS IS NOT MPREG, baekhyun is so besotted for chanyeol bby i'm so sorry, baekhyun is the most elegant and awkward dad in the universe, uh i forgot how to tag</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:53:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235778</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyssa_kei/pseuds/lyssa_kei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hello,” Baekhyun says. Now that Sehun is focusing on him properly, he notices the melodic tone of his voice, the warmth that’s present underneath the man’s words even though his expression is so detached. A stupid part of Sehun wants to cry.</p><p> <em>Father.</em></p><p>The smile falters.</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Sehun.”<br/> </p><p>or, sehun doesn't know what to do when his father shows up out of the blue, eleven years too late.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Byun Baekhyun &amp; Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Byun Baekhyun &amp; Oh Sehun, Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O &amp; Oh Sehun, Kim Jongin | Kai &amp; Oh Sehun, Oh Sehun &amp; Zhang Yi Xing | Lay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>when the birds fell from the sky</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>WARNING - Chanyeol is already dead by the time this story starts. However, he is mentioned pretty frequently.</p><p>please read the end notes please I'm begging you.</p><p>also, if you'd like i would suggest listening to Mermaid by Bol4 while reading this, it was the chief mood i was in while writing. </p><p>please read the end notes</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Prologue</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Byun Baekhyun is a loud nuisance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which is a feat, for someone who doesn’t speak often and generally has a quiet presence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s aggravating and loud, not because of his words or actions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s aggravating in a way that only a select few people Sehun’s met over the years have managed to be, with too-bright smiles at unholy hours on Sunday morning and a gentle adoration that seeps from lines of exhaustion on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s aggravating and loud, and for the first few months Sehun couldn’t even start getting used to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <em>
    <span>White hair with black roots, visible underneath the bleached strands, eyes downturned at the corners but still so sharp, handsome features on a face that stays forever young -</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you, Sehun.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <span>Byun Baekhyun is a loud nuisance, one that seeped into every part of Sehun’s life with emotions and colors tinted by every melancholy feeling in the world; sorrow, regret, guilt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Love.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 00 - You carry the weight of the world in your name.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a man whose name pops up around Sehun often.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three syllables, a name everyone seems to know - </span>
  <em>
    <span>Byun Baekhyun.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Even as a child, a four-year-old, Sehun could tell that the name meant something, meant something </span>
  <em>
    <span>big</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He can tell, because normal people aren’t brought up everywhere like a lost fragment of a puzzle, because normal people don’t have a presence that looms over a town they don’t ever set foot in. The older he gets, the more he notices.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyungsoo tells him not to pay mind to anything related to the name. Whenever he hears it, Kyungsoo’s brows scrunch together and his right eye twitches, and it’s almost hilarious how obviously he tries to hide the fact that he’s bothered. Sehun always wondered if Kyungsoo knew the man personally, a long time ago, and that’s why there’s a bite in his tone when he tells Sehun that the man and his name are both, quoted, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing you should be concerned about. Really.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The thing about it though, is that Sehun is a child, and therefore obligated to listen to adults’ advice and let it slip past his ears if it doesn’t suit his interests. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he does pay mind to the name. Starts to pick up the nuances that are carried by its letters, and slowly, Sehun learns bits and pieces about him. One of the main characters in updated history books, mentioned in passing by his teachers or the ahjummas who like to gossip on the front porches of their houses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their tales range from everything between his legendary feats to rumors of his lover who died in the war, then go back to talking about everything and nothing at all. Whose daughter went to some college, whose son is becoming a rising actor, what buildings are getting renovated and what areas are still heavily damaged from battles and the mana imbalance that was caused by them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyday things, laced with his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe due to the very nature of the man’s rumors, he’s always felt a little like a mystery to Sehun, like the stories and legends told to children - the contents changing depending on who is telling them. Which is why every time Sehun tries to think of him, a different figure comes to mind, morphing into all the versions of the man people act are real. No one ever seems to have just one opinion, one view of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Byun Baekhyun.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Since Sehun was a child, the neighbors have held the syllables in whispery-soft voices, hushed tones hidden behind their hands and peering eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Sehun has known for just as long that people like Byun Baekhyun simply can't stay as </span>
  <em>
    <span>whispers</span>
  </em>
  <span>, no matter how softly his name is uttered, no matter how carefully Kyungsoo hides the history books with his name. He shows up anyway, like colorful birds on summer days, like scattered thunderstorms in early autumn, always there but never </span>
  <em>
    <span>present</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not in skin and bone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over time, it becomes familiar. Familiar and almost - expected, the way things do when you grow up with them, but it’s also started to change a little. Sehun hadn’t thought much of the name and how it was related to him when he was younger, but now he’s a little older, he’s eleven and a half and it’s more frustrating than anything, how everyone around him avoids giving him the answers that he wants most desperately.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who is he?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why do you talk about him when you see me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who is he to me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, Sehun is met with eyes that show either pity or hesitance, and in the end he still doesn’t have any answers.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 7 - I don’t want you to hurt like that.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What are you, if you don't even have a mom or a dad?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When Sehun is six, he wanders into the woods near the house he and Kyungsoo live in, sniffling with unwashed tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t remember much about the experience, just remembers the feeling of cool wind on his skin, the songs the birds were echoing around him. It’s an accident, but as all toddlers do, it’s one that he makes happy use of. He didn’t want Kyungsoo to see him like this, anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In mere minutes, Sehun has passed the more familiar low bushes and shallow thickets that decorate the fronts of the woods, into the darker greens and calls of wild birds. Into the places unchecked by humans, into the places hidden behind leaves and shrubbery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s wholly unfamiliar, entirely foreign. Sehun doesn't think he's ever been here before, even on the walks Kyungsoo takes him on. Despite the small part of him that’s scared and nervous of this unknown territory, the other part of him is made of childish pride that refuses to let him turn around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he doesn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On and on he goes, sticking to small clearings instead of the darker patches, feeling just the tiniest bit better because the birds are singing beautifully and the light leaves brushes of warmth on his skin where they shine through the leaves above him -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until he falls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a minor fall - down what was probably a slight hill but seemed bigger only due to Sehun’s age and small size.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the end of it, he’s covered in dirt and grass stains and there’s a cut on his calf because he was wearing shorts, but he’s mostly unhurt and unscathed. At the end of it, he’s physically fine, but he feels miserable and there are tears still stinging behind his lids.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun wants to cry again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is this happening because I don’t have parents?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s what the other kids say.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Yixing always tells him not to listen and Jongin tries to beat up the kids that say those things, but a part of Sehun always wonders if it’s true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyungsoo’s as good as a father to him, but Sehun still doesn’t know who his real parents are. Or were. He doesn’t even call Kyungsoo dad.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do I have a family?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting on the damp forest ground, clothes slightly wet from the grass that he’d rolled in, and a twig digging into his hair, Sehun feels so, so alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And faint.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head is light, and the grass is looking a little closer than it had before -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ - hun? Child!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Sehun is blanketed in warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has no idea where it had come from, but in one sudden movement he’s swathed in soft fabric and he can feel someone’s arms holding him, a hand in his hair - even though he’s dirty and a little wet and he’s probably ruining this person’s clothes. It’s warm. It’s so warm, and Sehun feels the shock of it all getting rid of his tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man leans back and cups Sehun’s cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Child, what’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Squinting up at the man through the light falling from the trees, Sehun can barely see his face. His features only get a little clearer from his nose down, and all Sehun really notices is how soft and dewy the man’s skin looks, the mole to the side of his lips. The rest of his head is bathed in light, but Sehun can swear that his hair is white.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This man is blinding.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Angel.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you’re hurt,” The angel says, before Sehun can come up with something to say. He’s grateful though - his mind is still buffering, and Sehun’s first instincts had almost made him say </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re an angel</span>
  </em>
  <span> out loud. “Doesn’t it hurt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun jerks, then shakes his head vigorously. He can’t cry in front of a stranger, much less an angel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he says, but the angel only frowns, lifting Sehun out of his lap and setting him gently on his feet. Even kneeling, the man is taller than Sehun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold on just a moment,” the angel says, lips spreading into a gentle smile. “This will tickle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun doesn’t get to ask what it is that will tickle because right afterwards, it does tickle. All over. But when he looks up at the angel, all he gets is a smile and a finger pointed upwards, and Sehun gasps when he follows the direction and sees that there are thin streams of dirt and grass and small droplets of water rising from his clothes and skin, weaving through the air. He’s so distracted that he doesn’t realize that the tickling has stopped, until the angel reaches up and sweeps his hair out of his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t hurt anymore, does it?” The angel asks, smiling still, and Sehun is confused for a while before he notices that there’s no stinging on his calf anymore. The skin is smooth and pale, like nothing had happened. “And now you’re clean, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s true. Sehun lifts his arms and can’t see a single stain on them, or the front of his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He garbles in awe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so cool,” Sehun says giddily. “Even Kyungsoo doesn’t do magic often in the house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The angel pauses. “Kyungsoo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun, young as he is, doesn’t catch the loaded emotion there. “Yeah! He doesn’t do magic often, but people say he’s so powerful, he fought in a war! He’s the man who takes care of me, he’s really cool!” Looking away, Sehun droops a little. “He’s, kind of like my dad. But I don’t call him that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t?” The angel asks, seeming surprised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun nods at the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He never told me to. He always said his name was Kyungsoo, so I just call him Kyungsoo. And he’s not really my dad, anyway.” Sehun squeezes the front of his shirt. He’d been alright just a second ago. He can swear he hadn’t been thinking of this at all just a second ago because this angel is warm and comforting and he’d forgotten what he first came into the forest for, but now he’s trying not to cry as the tears from before come back full force. “I don’t have parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun doesn’t really know why he’s telling the angel all of this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is stuff he doesn’t even tell Kyungsoo, because he might be young but he still knows that Kyungsoo worries about him, fusses over him when he thinks Sehun isn’t paying attention. And he knows this would hurt Kyungsoo, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And for some reason, it feels like he can say all this to the angel. That he can trust this man. He’s so warm, warm and comforting and he feels like home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun sniffles, and thick drops land on his fists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, child.” The angel breathes out softly, scooping Sehun up in his arms again. “Please don’t cry, I don’t know what to do when you cry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the floodgates are open, and Sehun can’t stop them now as they rush past his guards and turn him into a sobbing mess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The angel, though, stays warm and soothing throughout the worst of it despite his claims that he can’t handle crying. He pulls Sehun closer, cradling him against his chest and sinking slender fingers into his hair, murmuring gentle words Sehun can’t hear and stroking a steady rhythm against his back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, child,” the angel says, when Sehun has mostly stopped crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call me that,” Sehun sniffles into the angel’s robes. “My name is Sehun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The angel stills, briefly, so slightly that Sehun doesn’t notice. And then, quietly, inaudibly, “I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun doesn’t hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I tell you something?” The angel asks softly, after a moment. He pulls away, just enough to wipe at Sehun’s cheeks with gentle hands, thumbs rubbing lightly under his eyes. Sehun nods. “You have a father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What - really?” Sehun exclaims. His eyes are wide, heart bursting because this is the first real information about his parents that he’s ever gotten; Kyungsoo always just says that one of his parents died and he doesn’t need to worry about the other and the adults in town only whisper of vague names whenever they see him outside. “I have a dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The angel smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do,” the angel says, more quiet than before. “And he loves you a lot. More than anything. More than the world. He’s a little scared and hurt, right now, which is why he isn’t with you. But he will be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The excitement dulls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad is hurt?” Sehun asks, panic and confusion seeping into his voice. He rubs at his eyes, trying to make the remnant wetness go away. “Is he okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine,” The angel chuckles. “I promise. It’s not something that hurts on the outside, like the scratch you got. It’s a different kind of hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what kind?” Sehun presses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s like…” The angel pauses, then cups his cheek. “Your hurt. You were hurt because you felt that you had no parents, right? It’s a little like that. It’s the kind that hurts from the inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Sehun wilts. He doesn’t want his dad to hurt like that. He doesn’t want anyone to hurt like that. “But he’ll get better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The angel smiles. It’s warm and beautiful. “He will. He will get better, really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The promise finally lets Sehun relax. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leans against the firm support the man gives him, burying his face into soft robes that encase him a warm cocoon. He never wants to leave. It’s warm and safe here, and there’s no one but them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometime in the middle of his hopes and wishes, Sehun falls asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he does, he thinks he hears someone singing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a beautiful song, but the voice is even more beautiful, rich and warm and so lovely it hurts. He imagines that there’s a deeper tone, too, flowing under the notes streaming through the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you, Sehun.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When he wakes up, he’s in his room, with nothing but splotchy memories of forest grounds and the ghost of warmth on his skin, the taste of a lullaby on his tongue.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 12 - When I saw you, my heart shattered.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are times when the world conspires against people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sticks two middle fingers at their faces, then smiles brilliantly and trails away in a blinding flash of light, leaving behind someone shell-shocked and trembling. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, this person.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is where Kyungsoo lives, right? I haven’t seen him in years, you see -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The wind is blowing across Sehun’s cheeks, hot wind slipping through his sleeves and brushing over his sweat-sticky skin, and he can see now the flash of light that the world is trailing behind as it runs from him gleefully with two middle fingers pointed straight at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This man.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honestly,” a little laugh, “he might shout at me a bit, since I haven’t told him I was coming back and he hates surprises -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s something slightly familiar about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something that Sehun can’t remember, but he’s almost certain he’s seen this man before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry, I’ve been keeping you out, haven’t I -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>White hair. Lids turned down at the corners. Eternal youth drawn across handsome features, such a contrast to the lost, ancient look held in those broken eyes. He wears an expression that doesn’t suit his features, polite smile on his face even though he looks like he wants to bolt out of this country any minute. Sehun wants him to. Sehun doesn’t want him here.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Byun Baekhyun.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This man is my father.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>In front of him, the stranger is still talking. Sehun can’t concentrate on his words. All he can focus on is the fact that it's a humid, sweltering day in late July and yet Baekhyun isn’t even breaking a sweat in his long, traditional robes. If anything, he looks slightly cold, the dark blue fabric of the cloth making his skin look paler and his hair lighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What is he doing here?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What is he doing here </span>
  <em>
    <span>now?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun feels his hands tightening into fists. His fingers go numb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And  -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you acting like you don’t recognize me?” Sehun asks, interrupting Baekhyun’s rambles. He doesn’t care that he’s only eleven years old and the man is much older than him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>eons older,</span>
  </em>
  <span> doesn’t care about the scolding he’s sure to get from Kyungsoo once he’s inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right now he only cares about his anger. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You left me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The words claw up Sehun’s throat, stick like glue to his tongue. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What are you doing here. Have you shown up, eleven years too late, to now play the role you left behind?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Father.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>At long last, Baekhyun looks up at Sehun, finally meets his eyes. Sehun holds himself back from flinching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d thought of meeting his parent many, many times over the years. Thought of countless reasons, countless excuses they might give him as to why they’d disappeared from his life not long after he was born. But never like this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Never in front of the house that Sehun lives in. Never someone who looks like he’s come straight from the set of a historical drama, and never, ever someone who looks so -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fragile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost like he’s reading Sehun’s thoughts, Baekhyun smiles. It’s the pained sort of smile that people wear when they’re looking at things they can never have, when they’re watching something too bright for them to handle. It almost makes Sehun more angry, because it feels like he should feel sorry for this man, with dark clothes that swallow his frame and expression of heartbreaking, devastating loneliness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” Baekhyun says. Now that Sehun is focusing on him properly, he notices the melodic tone of his voice, the warmth that’s present underneath the man’s words even though his expression is so detached. A stupid part of Sehun wants to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Father.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The smile falters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you, Sehun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except the thing is, it doesn't feel like a first meeting. Not at all.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When Sehun is four, he trips over a rocky ledge at a stream that Kyungsoo had taken him, Jongin, and Yixing to. He trips over a rocky ledge straight down to the deepest end of the stream, and doesn’t realize he’s falling until he’s already above the water.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But the impact of the fall never comes, and instead Sehun is scooped up before he even hits the surface, bobbing gently along above the stream until it reaches a small, shallow waterfall. The gentle humming of a song accompanies him, a voice that feels strangely familiar and hauntingly sorrowful.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Past the waterfall, the voice grows louder and clearer, and the sorrow melts into something more kind, more warm.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sehun dreams that sunlight and wind wrap around him gently and sing him lullabies, that a breeze sweeps back his hair and whispers soothing sounds into his ear. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He dreams.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Sehun.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s name is Baekhyun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun tells Sehun this once they’re inside and Kyungsoo has finished scolding him for not telling him sooner that he was going to drop by.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Byun Baekhyun,” he’d said, the smile curling his lips a little more amused. He’d said it as if Sehun doesn’t know his name already, as if the world doesn’t know his name already. Or maybe that’s what he’d been amused about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun,” Sehun had offered in response, only after Kyungsoo gave him a pinch under the table at his silence. Sehun still doesn’t get why they’d exchanged formalities when they both knew who the other was, but Kyungsoo seemed to be relieved, in a way, when they introduced themselves like normal people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not… whatever they are.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A father and son who haven’t seen each other for eleven years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun wants to sigh. A part of him also wants to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“If you really, really want to hear the truth, just let me know.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kyungsoo had said once, quietly, when Sehun was five and didn’t understand what his friends were talking about in school when they mentioned people called mom and dad. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll tell you everything. But until then, I’d prefer not to talk about them. I’m sorry.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun always assumed it was because Kyungsoo knew them personally. After all, Kyungsoo is another one of the people their neighbors point to and whisper about, and he’s seen Kyungsoo’s name pop up here and there in the same textbooks as Byun Baekhyun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But this hadn’t been expected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Best friend,” Baekhyun refers to Kyungsoo as. So casually. “Of three centuries. Barring Junmyeon, I suppose, but Junmyeon’s always been more of a mother hen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Compared to Sehun, Baekhyun seems miles more at ease, that stiffness in his smile having long melted with Kyungsoo’s presence. Meanwhile, Sehun is as rigid as a wooden board, and he feels just as uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyungsoo’s normally impassive features are also strained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want to hide it from you for so long,” Kyungsoo says, after a long moment. He, at least, seems genuinely apologetic, brows furrowed in slight concern and his hands twitching once, twice, at his sides, like he wants to reach out for Sehun but can’t find the strength.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun gets why. He can’t see his own expression, but he knows what he must look like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Sehun ends up gritting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He might have been more angry about it if his parents were anyone else, if Kyungsoo was anyone else. But he’s grown up at the hands of a war hero, and Sehun has seen the things they try to hide from the public. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyungsoo still gets nightmares. They’d been more frequent when Sehun was younger, and even now there are days Sehun comes back from school to see Kyungsoo sitting by the living room table, eyes desolate and empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun too, is probably affected by those memories. Maybe more, if the rumors that he had to watch his lover die are true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun’s other father, who, just by being Sehun’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>other father, </span>
  </em>
  <span>had also been by default a ticking time bomb in the house ever since Sehun first found out exactly who his parents were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Park Chanyeol.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So if the rumors really are true, if Park Chanyeol died the way he did and Baekhyun had to watch it happen, Sehun can’t resent Baekhyun for leaving him behind when the war ended. At all. Especially since Baekhyun left him in the care of someone like Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo had confirmed this, told Sehun that Baekhyun cried while begging him to take Sehun in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So why is he back?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why is he back </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What is he hoping to accomplish from this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun feels a headache starting behind his eyes, and he grits his teeth in frustration, bringing his hands to his temples.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is too much for one day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the two men apparently misunderstand the motion, because Kyungsoo hurriedly stands, asking if Sehun’s alright, and the complicated tsunami of emotions that had plagued Baekhyun’s gaze returns tenfold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyungsoo glances at Baekhyun. “Can’t you do something about this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun’s eyes are war. “Kyungsoo, I...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, I’m fine -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyungsoo ignores Sehun. Or maybe he doesn’t hear him. “He’s your </span>
  <em>
    <span>son.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time since Sehun has seen him, the emotions in Baekhyun’s eyes bleed into his expression. He flinches, shoulders tensing briefly and his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, and Sehun’s so shocked by the fact that </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh god, he can make that kind of face</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s making that face because of me, </span>
  </em>
  <span>that his tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth and he doesn’t get to tell them both that it’s really nothing. Because it’s really nothing, it should be nothing, he shouldn’t be so tense and he shouldn’t be shaking and he shouldn’t be so anxious because his father came back out of the blue, and -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His name is a shock of cold water amidst the torrent of thoughts in his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Against his will, Sehun’s head jerks up. But he regrets it not a moment later because then he’s looking directly into Baekhyun’s eyes, and they look too soft and warm and he can’t look away -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Breathe, Sehun,” Baekhyun’s voice says, seeming further away than it had been before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vaguely, Sehun registers a hand on his forehead, the cool sensation spreading from his skin, then down, deeper, and his vision blurs for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There we go,” Baekhyun whispers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light pressure on his forehead disappears. Sehun swallows his now dry mouth. More time must have passed than he thought when he comes to, however, because Baekhyun is back across the table, eyes guarded and his head turned to the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyungsoo, instead, is the one in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay, Sehun?” The man asks, and Sehun realizes belatedly that the light headache is gone. And he feels calm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Much calmer than before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sehun manages, “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And, because Sehun can feel Kyungsoo about to ask an, </span>
  <em>
    <span>are you sure,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he tacks on a small smile with the words. It hurts his mouth all the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, Kyungsoo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyungsoo clearly doesn't believe it. Sehun imagines that Baekhyun's frown gets a little deeper, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But in the end Kyungsoo sighs and sits back in the chair next to Baekhyun, messing his hair and sounding like he wants to be anywhere else in the world.. Baekhyun looks like he wants to go bury himself in a hole. Sehun understands</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As it is, it takes a while for them to get back on track with their conversation. If he could even call what they had a conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In any case,” Baekhyun says after too long and too much quiet, like he’s simultaneously amused and tortured by how </span>
  <em>
    <span>awkward </span>
  </em>
  <span>it is, “I’m not here to ask anything of you, Sehun. Especially forgiveness. I know I don’t deserve it -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyungsoo bristles. “Baekhyun -” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun cuts him off. “No matter the reason, I didn’t try to be a good -” Baekhyun pauses, lips thinning, “I didn’t try to be a parent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns back to Sehun and smiles slightly, and this time Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything. “I didn’t come back to act like nothing happened, and I won’t ask that of you either. And if you want, I could just disappear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyungsoo’s hand clenches into a fist. Sehun forgets to breathe for a second.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re so stupid, why would I want that, why would I ever want that, why did you come, why did you come -</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s fine,” Sehun says shortly before Kyungsoo can get more upset and say something, before Baekhyun can then interrupt him again. His heart is beating like a hammer in his chest, gaze trained on Kyungsoo’s clenched fist and the slight trembles there. “You don’t have to leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why did you come, why did you come, did you even come to see me, did you miss me at all, why do you look like you don’t care again </span>
  </em>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing, Sehun mumbles out an excuse about needing to do homework, even though he knows Baekhyun is probably sharp enough to read the lie in his words, even though Kyungsoo will </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>it’s a lie because it’s Friday night and Sehun never does anything until Sunday morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he turns and flees.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 41 - It’s the kind that hurts on the inside.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s been a little less than a month since Baekhyun came to live with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since then, the house has become… strange.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The atmosphere is a little tense at all times, as if Kyungsoo is still afraid, almost a month after Baekhyun had come back, that Sehun will explode with anger at him. Or Baekhyun. Or both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun doesn’t help matters much, because his existence alone is enough to make Sehun stiffen anyway, and seeing Sehun uncomfortable automatically means that Kyungsoo will be uncomfortable too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Really, Sehun thinks the only times he’s seen the two men at peace have been whenever they’re together without him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurts more than he’d like to admit, though he supposes he can’t exactly blame them. They’re the only ones here who can understand the pain and the suffering from their past, after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, Sehun wishes Baekhyun would make it easier for him not to tense up at the mere sight of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Especially with that stupid, stupid smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s been the source of Sehun’s frustration for much of the past two weeks, because Baekhyun doesn’t ever stop smiling unless he thinks he and Kyungsoo are alone. Sehun knows this, because he’s walked into the living room at least a few times during those weeks to see Baekhyun’s expression flip from any varying level of emotion other than happiness to a fake twist of his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if he’s trying to appear more friendly, or something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun doesn’t get why.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not like those smiles are meant for him, why does Baekhyun even bother? And if they </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and Baekhyun is genuinely just that disgusted by the sight of him… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun swallows harshly and thinks about slamming down the pot in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t you stop that?” Sehun asks. Even with his annoyance, his voice comes out sounding more pointed than he’d wanted, annoyance and years of frustration sharpening the edges of his words. Harsh enough to cut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun, though, is never one to be cut. He seems not to even care about how coldly Sehun treats him sometimes, and he blinks up at Sehun from the kitchen table, eyes wide and blank. Sehun’s hands turn numb with how tightly he’s holding the handles. What does this man do with his emotions?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least that aggravating smile has slid off his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop what?” Baekhyun asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun puts the pot down with more force than he’d intended. The resulting thud is loud, but the murkiness of Baekhyun’s eyes don’t clear much. Nothing ever fazes him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That smile,” Sehun says. He forces his grip to loosen over the handles and turns to face Baekhyun, taking in his long robes with something too tired to be disdain. “Your smiles aren’t really smiles. You don’t have to smile if you don’t feel like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun tilts his head, just slightly. He seems genuinely surprised, and that alone should have made Sehun feel something. It doesn’t. “You knew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun scrunches his nose and takes off the lid, stirring the curry in the pot with a ladle. “Yeah well, you’re not a good actor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a long silence from Baekhyun’s end. Sehun would have thought with any other person that they’d just dropped the conversation, but it’s Baekhyun and he’s not just anyone and he can feel Baekhyun’s stare stinging the back of his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun’s just about to snap at him when he looks up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And almost drops the ladle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because the expression on Baekhyun’s face is so raw and so unlike anything he’s seen from Baekhyun so far, and the words just won’t come out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s so much riddled in his father’s eyes. So many of the same emotions Sehun has seen from him since a month ago. The same guilt, regret, hatred, resignation, hopelessness, and love. Sehun wants to ask him about it, ask what it is about Sehun that makes Baekhyun look like that. That makes him hurt like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But in the end it’s Baekhyun who speaks first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You…” Baekhyun trails off, voice barely there, “You really take after your father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun’s grip on the ladle turns his knuckles white.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, “He said the exact same thing to me once.” Baekhyun pauses, looks up at him, and suddenly Sehun wants to flee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His </span>
  <em>
    <span>eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun understands, now, a little more about the reasons behind Baekhyun’s choice, a decade ago when he left Sehun with Kyungsoo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He understands because of the look in Baekhyun’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re so in love with him. You’re so in love with him, you look like you would die to be with him again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun, I -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun is a coward. Sehun is a coward, and he doesn’t know what his father is going to say and he isn’t sure he wants to know. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you hate me, do you hate me for this, do you hate that I remind you of him -</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jerking back, Sehun nearly knocks over the pot in his hurry to leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I - I need to go,” Sehun stammers, then runs away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun doesn’t run after him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(Baekhyun doesn’t run after him, but he knocks on the door, the day after. It’s soft, and Sehun barely hears it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When he lets Baekhyun in, Baekhyun looks at Sehun with such heartbreaking eyes that Sehun would have cried, if he weren’t so confused.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His eyes are war.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And then Baekhyun apologizes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sehun barely remembers the apology. He’s not sure why Baekhyun’s apologizing, when he’s done nothing wrong. At least, not this time. But Baekhyun apologizes anyway, and Sehun stammers out an apology too that he can barely remember, and when Baekhyun smiles at him this time there’s a hint of honesty to the shape of his eyes.)</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 74: Every day I wake up in a nightmare.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where even were you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The question comes a little out of nowhere, but it doesn’t mean that Sehun isn’t genuinely curious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun tilts his head over the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heading over to Baekhyun with a bowl of grapes that he’d washed, Sehun sets it down on the table and plops down on the carpet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ironic as it is, calling Baekhyun out on his unconvincing acting actually seems to have made the other man more comfortable around Sehun, at least to a point where he doesn’t feel like he has to paste on glassy smiles for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It, therefore, has made it easier for Sehun to handle, well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun’s entire being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where were you,” Sehun repeats, tossing a grape into his mouth. “The past eleven years. Did you hide somewhere? You must get recognized no matter where you go in the world, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Baekhyun blinks. There’s faint surprise on his face, like he hadn’t expected Sehun to be interested in the less transparent details of his life. “Um, I disguised myself if I needed to. But I lived with a group of friends for a while, and then I went to the mountains.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Sehun’s turn to blink. He has a vague memory of Baekhyun referring to another person during their first talk, but nothing else. He’d been too busy reeling at the fact that Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were apparently </span>
  <em>
    <span>best friends</span>
  </em>
  <span> of </span>
  <em>
    <span>three centuries</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have friends?” Sehun asks, then realizes how that sounds and winces. “That’s not -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun merely chuckles. “It’s fine, I know I don’t seem the type.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun fidgets, and Baekhyun laughs again, looks up to where the show is still playing on the television screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them are watching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun knows this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Sehun is…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, he’s waiting. And Hoping. Or maybe it’s the other way around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Either way, it pays off when Baekhyun starts talking, slowly, as if he’s not sure what he’s doing and why he’s doing it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kim Junmyeon is like my mother,” Baekhyun says, tentatively, then purses his lips. “No, he is my mother. Before I met Kyungsoo, and your father, he was the one who made sure I was healthy and functioning. He’s really… kind.” Sehun watches Baekhyun struggle to elaborate for a while until he gives up and moves on. It’s actually a little cute, and a little hilarious, that someone like Byun Baekhyun gets like this describing his friends. “I met Kim Jongdae when the war first started a century ago, and he’s obnoxious and loud and has the most beautiful voice on the planet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lies, </span>
  </em>
  <span>something in Sehun’s brain whispers at that, though he doesn’t know why. He frowns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kim Minseok was another high warlock in the war efforts,” Baekhyun continues, oblivious to Sehun’s confusion. “I knew him from before, but I’d never spent much time with him until then. He’s my therapist.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun doesn’t know what it is closing off his throat. “They sound nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun smiles. “They are. Never tell Jongdae, but I love them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun wonders, suddenly, what it would take for Baekhyun to say the same about him, in the same way he does about Junmyeon, Minseok, Jongdae. That softness, that certainty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallows. It hurts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you tell me about…” Sehun pauses. This is probably a bad idea. He shuts up, but Baekhyun tilts his head at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chanyeol?” Then, realizing his mistake, “You mean your other father?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun wants to curl up in a ball and hide in a mouse hole. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He also really really wants to know about his other father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeming to sense that Sehun will be torn between the two opposing forces for a while if left unchecked, Baekhyun cuts them off entirely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was annoying,” Is the first thing Baekhyun says. It works, Sehun stops trying to curl into the smallest ball possible and stares, jaw slack, up at Baekhyun. “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>persistent.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Baekhyun’s eyes soften, just a little. “And strong. Selfless. Brave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling down at Sehun, Baekhyun looks like he is simultaneously too exhausted to care so much and also like someone who has just fallen in love for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was a fire wielder,” Baekhyun continues, quietly. “Makes sense, for someone with such a personality. He was a whirlwind. He was in love with the world. He was in love with too many things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Me,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Baekhyun doesn’t say. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He was in love with me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But it’s clear enough in his voice, his words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You must love him a lot,” Sehun says without thinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then proceeds to go into Immediate Regret Number Two.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course Baekhyun is in love with his other father, Sehun has never seen or heard anything about Park Chanyeol other than the fact that he’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>war hero</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>he died a little before you were born</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Sehun hasn’t fallen in love with anyone yet so he has no idea how it feels, but he’s not dense. Sehun isn’t dense, and he’s seen the stricken, grieved, heartbroken and yet </span>
  <em>
    <span>so full of love it could burst</span>
  </em>
  <span> way that Baekhyun looks when he’s thinking about Park Chanyeol.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course Baekhyun loves his other father. And Sehun feels a little stupid, but then also hates himself a little for bringing it up in the first place, because Baekhyun always closes off when he’s reminded of certain things, including but not limited to: war, Sehun himself, Park Chanyeol, Sehun’s other father, his dead lover, Park Chanyeol, etcetera.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he thinks that this time will be the same. Thinks that Baekhyun will go back to his plastic smiles and murky eyes, and prepares to beat himself over it because it’s all his fault.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But instead, Baekhyun looks slightly surprised again and then he’s lightly smiling again, and it’s genuine enough that Sehun wants to stare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stare, then maybe take a picture, then maybe write down this entire conversation word for word. Read it over and over until he’s gotten the spaces between the letters memorized, and hold it as close to his heart as he can without getting cut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somewhere in Sehun’s mind, he recognizes that something has changed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until now, Byun Baekhyun had just been, in this precise order: absent father. War hero. The legends Sehun can never figure out are true or not. Then, warlock.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right now, though, right now -</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Baekhyun whispers. He sounds like a man who found the love of his life, he sounds like someone in love, someone loving, </span>
  <em>
    <span>love,</span>
  </em>
  <span> “I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>- Byun Baekhyun is utterly, heartbreakingly human.</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 94: They will get better.  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first memories come back in sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brief flashes of the moments that had been buried in Sehun’s conscious, faint caresses of sights and sounds that had been lost to him, before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Forest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Song.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Falling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Song</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The very first time it happens, Sehun assumes it’s just a dream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There had been a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that made him hesitate, but really, other than a vague familiarity and the strange nostalgia that he’d woken with, there had been no reason to think it was anything else than a figment of his imagination. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until there's more.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>- hun. Child.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun tastes a lullaby on his tongue that he can’t remember. He’s not sure he really wants to remember, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It feels like a part of his past that’s simultaneously so detached, yet so impactful, that it deserves a separate place in his mind, his world.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Angel,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sehun had called him. One of the more recent dreams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And, well, at least now he knows the truth about what happened that day, when he woke up in his bed with the bittersweet aftertaste of a lullaby on his tongue, the ghost of warmth on his skin. When he woke up and turned to see Kyungsoo at his desk, looking out the window. Kyungsoo, who is sure to have known what happened but had not looked angry, at least not at Sehun. He’d mostly just seemed - sad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-hun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Child.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun jerks and almost drops his pencil, but when he looks up, it’s Jongin’s eyes he meets, not Baekhyun. Eyes that are filled to the brim with worry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Sehun says, eloquently. Then takes in his surroundings: the lack of half the room’s students, the lack of a teacher, the lack of Yixing beside him. He’d forgotten he was in school, they must be having a break right now. “Jongin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin frowns at whatever he sees on Sehun’s face. He looks like he wants to say something, but then he thinks twice of it and purses his lips. Then he reaches out, grasping the hand that Sehun had been leaning his chin on, and Sehun looks at their linked hands dumbly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay,” Jongin asks quietly. His voice is about to do the serious thing it does whenever one of them is genuinely upset about something, Sehun can tell. The last time Jongin’s voice did The Serious Thing, Yixing had been devastated about something he still can’t tell them (literally can’t, because according to Yixing he himself has no idea why he’d been so upset at the time). “Xing went to the vending machine. Our break started three minutes ago. Do you need anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin sounds truly concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A right shame, because Sehun isn’t really listening. His eyes are on their hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin’s skin is tanned. Not surprising, given how much time he spends out in the sun, but even in the winter when he doesn’t spend as much time outside and there’s not much sun to begin with, his skin is darker than Sehun’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun likes it. The contrast, when Jongin holds his hand or Yixing’s. Or both. He thinks he’s always liked it, honestly, and he has the strangest feeling in his chest at the fact that he’s just now realizing this, even though it’s been seven years since he met Jongin and it’s been seven years of time to notice and say something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That effort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To notice, then say something too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe that’s what he wants, from Baekhyun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you,” he says to Jongin, point blank.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin blanks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun, are you sure you’re okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not really. But he will. He will get better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun smiles up at Jongin, and watches with amusement when Jongin’s eyes widen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might be, now.” He will get better. “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jongin still looks blindsided, but Sehun knows that Jongin knows that it’s the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s also probably what makes Jongin release his hand, still frowning slightly, but his voice isn’t doing The Serious Thing when Yixing comes back a few minutes later with drinks from the vending machine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, Hunnie,” Yixing says, holding a can out for him. His eyes roam over Sehun’s face as he accepts, attentive, careful, gentle. “You look a little better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun blinks, then smiles again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I really like you, Yixing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yixing isn’t surprised the way Jongin is. Just tilts his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you too, Sehun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Effort.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Say something.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun dreams a few times after that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It leads up to a total of eleven, though the first few of those had been vague and the little dialogue Sehun could hear had been indecipherable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The seventh one sticks in his memory the most.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Angel. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He will. He will get better.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>On the twelfth night, Sehun manages to catch Baekhyun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doing what, he has no idea, because he had no dreams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet he’s awake now, anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a slight weight on the bed, a shadow falling over him that isn’t just from the tree outside his window. He hears, then, someone humming, so quietly that it sounds more like the aftertaste of a forgotten song. The same song.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun opens his eyes and reaches out, grasping the wrist he sees at his side. Baekhyun startles, but only slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re awake,” his father murmurs, and he sounds slightly defeated</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Sehun confirms. His voice is scratchy and there’s a yawn dislodged somewhere in his throat and maybe he sounds a little defeated, too. “It’s late.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t see Baekhyun’s eyes from here, so Sehun can’t know what he’s thinking as he stays silent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sehun asks, after a while. He leans up on one elbow and blinks, rubbing his left eye and wanting it to rub away the sleep, too. The hurt, too. “That you visited me when I was younger?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun’s about to give up and go the hell back to sleep when Baekhyun answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It seemed…” Baekhyun breathes in, shakily, “It seemed more cruel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, Sehun does understand that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun’s identity was a ticking time bomb since Sehun was old enough to think, after all, and he’d have figured out quickly enough that the war hero Byun Baekhyun, the angel in the forest who held him close and sang him a lullaby, and the empty space called </span>
  <em>
    <span>father</span>
  </em>
  <span> all belonged to the same being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he would have resented Baekhyun a little more, if he knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But maybe he would have been comforted, by the knowledge that he wasn’t abandoned.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He will get better</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was it true?” Sehun asks, because the one thing he’s learned the past few months living with Baekhyun is that it’s pointless to focus on the past. Really pointless. Because it changes nothing about it. The only thing he can change is what happens in the future. “What you said to me, then. Were you telling the truth?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s being vague about what he means, he knows this. But Sehun also knows, by the tensing of Baekhyun’s shoulders, that Baekhyun knows exactly what he’s talking about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Baekhyun sighs. “I meant it. All of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun only allows himself a moment to feel happy at the admission. Then he ploughs on, because this is the first real conversation he’s had with Baekhyun that hasn’t been dancing around subjects and empty spaces shaped like human beings and he wants to make the most of it. He wants </span>
  <em>
    <span>something, </span>
  </em>
  <span>wants things that he’s not sure Baekhyun will be able to give him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he knows he wants, now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s accepted it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That counts for something, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun’s skin is a little darker than Sehun’s. There’s not nearly as much a contrast as there is with Jongin, but Sehun can still see it, the shades differentiating his skin and Baekhyun’s where he’s holding onto his father’s wrist. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Say something.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“And why are you so uncomfortable around me now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He will get better.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not sure," Baekhyun says, after a long, long moment. "It was easier talking to you when I knew you wouldn't remember me afterwards."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Translation being: </span>
  <em>
    <span>it was easier talking to you when I didn't have to stay</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stupidly, Sehun tears up a little, but he rubs at his eyes and hopes Baekhyun didn’t see it. If nothing else, he knows Baekhyun has done his best to be completely honest with him, and he can appreciate that, at the least. He lets go of Baekhyun’s arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," Sehun says, after clearing his throat. His voice is still wet, but Baekhyun mercifully glosses over the fact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're not a baby," Baekhyun replies softly. "Sheltering you and protecting you has been Kyungsoo's job, for the past decade. The least I can do is give you answers."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun can only sniffle again in response. Maybe it’s the late night making him more emotional. He buries his face into the blankets, responses to Baekhyun’s words warring in his head that he can’t figure out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anger. Resentment, though he doesn’t know if it’s directed at Baekhyun or himself. Probably himself. Resignation, too, because even though he’s accepted it, Sehun still hates that part of himself that wonders about, hopes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>aches</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the love of a parent. And more than that, Baekhyun’s love.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t want just the answers.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not from you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t hear the sheets shifting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun,” Baekhyun’s voice cuts through the fog in Sehun’s mind with a clarity only Baekhyun has ever managed. “Sehun, please look at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun ignores him for a few moments. It’s a hopeless situation though, he knows Baekhyun will just lift his head if he stays down for too long. But when Sehun finally looks up, Baekhyun is much closer than he’d expected, and Sehun can see every conflicting emotion in his eyes that the light of the moon illuminates. It shocks him cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Never. He’s never seen Baekhyun like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun,” Baekhyun says, and Sehun realizes, belatedly, how pained Baekhyun sounds. “I never said I wasn’t sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first tear falls like an act of defiance. Sehun feels like he’s lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his own childish want, to the nagging voice in the back of his mind always looking for Baekhyun, watching him, wishing for confirmation -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says, slightly raspy. Quiet. “I didn’t realize how much this could hurt you. I never knew love before your father, and I still don’t know how to handle the love for a child of mine. But I do love you. Please don’t believe otherwise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gentle hands hold Sehun’s shoulder, his cheek, brushing away the stray tears that are still falling. He can’t stop them, can’t get a hold of them, and it only gets worse when Baekhyun pulls him closer, a tentative embrace that’s just as unsure as it is warm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Familiar. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gentle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adoring.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is what the love of a god feels like.</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 147 - He loves you a lot. More than anything. More than the world.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first thing Sehun does when he gets back home is throw his bag aside and march over to one of the inner bedrooms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the one in the corner near the bathroom that Kyungsoo used to reserve as a guest bedroom, despite never having any guests, the one that has two large windows inside on adjacent walls, possible only because it’s in the corner of their house. There’s a hanging plant right next to it that Sehun had thought at one point was dead, but Kyungsoo’s hands are magic and it turns out he’s just as magical with plants as he is with food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the one room in their house that used to be empty, until five months ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slamming the door open, Sehun thrusts out a newspaper and demands, voice breathless with his heavy pants, “Is it true?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The reason the room isn’t empty anymore looks up at him. Soft eyes widen only slightly, minutely, at the sudden intrusion, before an amused smile overtakes it. Sehun feels the same age-old irritation bubbling under his skin at the reaction, the fact that he still can’t catch this man off guard no matter what he does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Baekhyun?” Sehun asks again, shaking the newspaper in the man’s face, “Is it true?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun’s smile widens, but he doesn’t even glance at the newspaper, nor does he make any move to take it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sehun, it’s not respectful to barge into people’s rooms like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t really work to chastise Sehun, only makes him more impatient. Baekhyun clearly sees the frustration bubbling, because he laughs once, shortly, then takes the newspaper from Sehun’s grasp with hands far more nimble than his own. Sharp eyes make quick work of the words written over the first page, then flick up to the headline and pause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun brings a covered hand to his face, looking to be hiding a smile. The amusement from before is back, and glittering in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Journalists have a penchant for embellishing things, don’t they,” Baekhyun says, voice trembling from his efforts not to laugh. “I must say, I’m quite flattered.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But is it </span>
  <em>
    <span>true</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Sehun says insistently, leaning closer so he can look at the newspaper again and cringe.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right Hand of the Gods, High Warlock Byun Baekhyun Stops an Entire Battalion of Dark Mages.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The headline alone makes Sehun want to gag, but the contents of the top article are worse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paragraph after paragraph of the most flowery language possible had been used to describe what would have probably been, in reality, a gruesome and bloody battle. As expected of trashy media, however, the journalist had chosen instead to focus on Baekhyun alone, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>blinding magic threatening to consume the world</span>
  </em>
  <span> and the </span>
  <em>
    <span>moment his powers scorched the dark forces of evil.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun seems to think the same, because his gaze is slightly more subdued as he skims the rest of the paper. His smile is faint when he looks up at Sehun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’d be a lie to say otherwise,” Baekhyun admits, “But I had my own team behind me. I wasn’t alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Sehun was older, or if he’d been a little less excited, he might have noticed the warier tones of Baekhyun’s voice. He’d always been like this, closing off at mentions of war and things related to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As it is, Sehun only perks up at the admittance. “It’s really true? How do you use mana for things like that? I can sense it, kind of, like a blanket of energy around me that gets lighter or heavier depending on where I am but it’s never clear and I can’t ever really hold it or anything. Isn’t it strange? It feels like a breeze to me, but Jongin says for him it’s more like light touches, and Yixing says he can’t feel it physically, it’s just a sense he has. Do you get that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The barrage of questions makes Baekhyun blink, evidently taken aback by how curious Sehun is of… this. Then he smiles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This smile is lighter than the previous, not quite as dull, not riddled with the memories from before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen you so excited about anything,” Baekhyun says at length, tilting his head. “I think that’s the most you’ve ever said to me at once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly realizing he’d just word-vomited at his father and also involuntarily leaned forwards during that embarrassing rant, Sehun jerks away and looks down. In front of him, there’s a chuckle, gentle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you interested in magic?” Baekhyun asks, tone slightly amused. Sehun isn’t looking at his face, so he can’t tell whether Baekhyun is just entertained or if he’s laughing at Sehun, but at least he doesn’t sound mad. “Do you want me to teach you magic, Sehun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun halts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should have known better than to think he’d be able to hide his hopes from Baekhyun for long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His cheeks heat up again anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted…” His voice dies. Youdon’thavetoifyoudon’twantto,” Sehun mumbles at last. “I know you don’t practice magic anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been a futile hope, he knows, because he’s not close with Baekhyun much at all, and he could have gone to Kyungsoo for magic lessons if he was truly desperate for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there was still a part of him that wished, futile as it was, that Baekhyun might accept. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That he might accept, because Sehun is his son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s no answer for a long time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After what feels like years, Sehun finally lifts his head, prepared to face a polite rejection or something of the like, but he’s surprised by the wistful expression on Baekhyun’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It looks sad. And regretful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it’s also brimming with memories of love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Baekhyun says quietly, “Things change.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun blinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is this a yes -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun turns to smile up at him, and Sehun jerks at the sudden attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might be a little rusty in the beginning since it’s been so long,” Baekhyun says, “But I could teach you if you wanted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Sehun blurts without thinking, then claps a hand over his mouth. Baekhyun only laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, really.” There’s definitely a teasing tone in there somewhere, but Sehun can’t find it in himself to care at the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t wait to tell Jongin and Yixing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After stammering out a few more thanks and trying to tone down his smiles a little more, Sehun makes to leave, but Baekhyun’s voice stops him at the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time it’s hesitant, a little tentative.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Sehun…” Baekhyun’s mouth closes, once, before he smiles. It shocks Sehun at the sight, because this is the most genuine smile he’s seen from Baekhyun in the past three months he’s been here and it’s rare enough that Baekhyun lets any other emotion show on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Baekhyun says, “For coming to me.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 217: Your laughter sounds like a song.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not like that," Baekhyun says, patient as ever as he watches Sehun struggle to gather mana into tangible form. He’s sitting on a rock one leg crossed over the other, light blue robes fluttering at his feet. Compared to Sehun, who is currently panting in exertion over the supposedly simple exercises Baekhyun had given him, Baekhyun looks pleasantly, wonderfully relaxed. It’s a little too annoying. “Sehun, you’re trying too hard to force your will into the mana.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then how do I not?” Sehun exclaims, shoulders slumping. He’s exhausted. This is exhausting. He’s almost regretting having asked Baekhyun to teach him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun only chuckles. It’s airy, amused, but according to Kyungsoo it’s not that Baekhyun is laughing at him, it’s just that Baekhyun finds him cute. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He used to laugh similarly at your other father whenever he was frustrated or pent up.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun still doesn’t quite believe that’s the reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Baekhyun’s still smiling amusedly as he slips off the rock. “Come here and watch me for a second.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grumpily, Sehun brushes his sweaty hair out of his face and walks towards the man, and Baekhyun laughs as he gets closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, wipe that expression off your face.” Baekhyun’s smile is definitely teasing. He laughs again at the utterly exhausted glare Sehun aims his way when he’s next to him, then cups his two hands in front of him. “Look closely. This is my mana.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words actually manage to catch Sehun off guard, this time, enough for him to drop the glare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun has shown him </span>
  <em>
    <span>mana</span>
  </em>
  <span>, before, in the month and half that he has been teaching Sehun about magic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But this is the first time Sehun has heard anything about </span>
  <em>
    <span>Baekhyun’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> mana.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mana exists in the world to take form of desire,” Baekhyun says, quietly. Sehun can already feel the humming of energy and power around him, simmering, gathering. “You don’t need to try to shape it into the tool that you want, Sehun. Think, </span>
  <em>
    <span>wish,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and it will create it for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steadily, glowing warmth appears in Baekhyun’s hands, a beautiful light that shifts shades of gold and amber and everything Sehun would imagine tastes like summer lullabies. For a split second, it looks like Baekhyun holds the sun in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(Sehun wouldn’t be surprised.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He doesn’t think he’d be surprised at anything Baekhyun does, anymore. He’s half convinced Baekhyun is part-god.)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look,” Baekhyun whispers, just as the small sun explodes into a million pieces all around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun’s mana, Sehun finds that day, does taste like summer lullabies. It leaves ghostly touches of warmth on his skin, present but still not </span>
  <em>
    <span>enough,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and it makes him want to cry and laugh and sing all at once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun’s mana, Sehun finds, is exactly like him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thanks for falling in love with him,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sehun thinks to the universe, and Park Chanyeol, hands outstretched to catch as many of the mini suns as he can. To taste as much of the lullabies as he can. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Though I guess for you it was probably inevitable.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, falling in love with Baekhyun is inevitable.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 400 - You feel as impossible to reach as the stars.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>It hits Sehun when he and Baekhyun are in the living room, watching a rerun of one of those old dramas that used to be popular back before the war. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun is physically cringing, holding a pillow to his chest with his knees drawn up. His robes are long enough that they tickle Sehun’s neck where he’s sitting down on the floor in front of Baekhyun, but they shift a little as Baekhyun finally groans and buries his head in the pillow he’d been clutching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun bites back a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hit a little too close to home?” He asks over his shoulder, unable to keep the amusement from his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That man waited a </span>
  <em>
    <span>thousand years </span>
  </em>
  <span>for his lover to reincarnate,” Baekhyun mumbles despairingly into the pillow. “And he isn’t even a </span>
  <em>
    <span>little</span>
  </em>
  <span> off in the head? Preposterous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sniggering, Sehun takes the remote and switches it to another channel. “Are you saying all you immortals are just crazy people?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun huffs. “We’re not </span>
  <em>
    <span>immortal.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But in a way, most of us are … eccentric. We can’t help it when we’ve been alive for so long. There are times centuries pass like a dream and then other times when a few months feel like a millennia, and after a while we feel like we have nothing. There’s no way anyone can get out of that completely sane.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun’s throat is suddenly very, very dry. “It gets that bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun shrugs. “Sometimes. But life by principle means opportunity, so eventually it comes rolling around for us, too. And it becomes what we live for. Those brief moments.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The admittance makes Sehun pause. It feels like Baekhyun is saying something else, beneath those surface words, but it’s eclipsed by the sudden realization that he has no idea how old Baekhyun is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How old are you?” Sehun asks, his interest in the television show going from nonexistent to forgotten. He leans his elbow on his knee and twists, just enough to look up at Baekhyun. “How old is Kyungsoo? And what do you mean you’re not immortal? Don’t you just live forever?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun blinks at him, but he must be getting used to Sehun’s occasional torrent of questions because it lasts only a fraction of the moment it would have more than a year ago. Then he chuckles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m a little over two-thousand years old, but I lost count a few times between then. Kyungsoo’s a little younger than me.” Baekhyun tilts his head. “A century or two younger?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glances down at Sehun’s flabbergasted expression and laughs. “Look, I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>old in the grand scheme of things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun does not let up his flabbergasted expression. “But you’re still so </span>
  <em>
    <span>old.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He frowns, then, as Baekhyun laughs again. “How does that even work? The immortality?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Again, it’s not immortality,” Baekhyun says, almost imperiously. “We just live long lives. Most of it is really just dependent on how much mana we have in us, and how reactive we are to mana in general.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun doesn’t understand most of what Baekhyun just said. “Is this just a way for you to brag about how powerful you are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This startles another laugh out of Baekhyun, longer this time, brighter. It makes Sehun’s own lips turn up reluctantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Baekhyun is still kind of laughing, “Put it simply, I guess it’s really just how powerful you are. The more powerful you are, the longer you live. I’ll explain it properly another time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun makes a noncommittal noise as he mulls it over in his head. Mana.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But mana, as he knows it to be, can be dispersed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks up at Baekhyun again, but this time Baekhyun seems to read the heavier undertones in his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there a way for you to live shorter lives?” Sehun asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun doesn’t look all too surprised at the question. He smiles. “I know what you’re thinking. That mana can be scattered.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun can’t bother to be surprised. “But can it? In these conditions?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a little longer for Baekhyun to respond to this one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Baekhyun says. More quiet. “If you release all the mana in your body into the world, you can live a much shorter life. Or, done the right way, you can die not long afterwards.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun doesn’t ask much after that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he lets himself lean back, finally turning his attention back to the television show he still has nonexistent interest in. Lean back, against Baekhyun’s robes that are too long and slip down the couch’s cushions whenever he draws his knees up.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m glad you chose to stay for me,</span>
  </em>
  <span> the gesture says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun ruffles his hair.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 494: All the pain will have been worth it.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s your birthday in a bit, right?” Baekhyun asks, just as Sehun is putting away the last washed dish. Sehun is quiet for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not for three months,” Sehun says, a little blankly. He doesn’t think Baekhyun forgot his birthday - Baekhyun was the only one between the three of them last year that remembered the date when it came, to Kyungsoo’s horror and shame despite Sehun’s reassurances - and there’s no real reason Baekhyun would be preparing a gift so early. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I take you somewhere?” Baekhyun continues, leaning his chin against his elbow. “It’s not too far and it won’t take long either, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun is still a little confused, but he also wouldn’t hesitate with something like this, ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun regrets it only after they’ve been hiking for what feels like a year.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baekhyun, please,” Sehun says, for what might be the tenth time. The trees all look the same. The grass beneath them is the same everywhere; dead and dry and crunchy. It feels like they’re going </span>
  <em>
    <span>nowhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “You said it wouldn’t take that long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun wants to find a stick and use it as a cane. No, scratch that, Sehun wants to plop down on the ground and call it quits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Baekhyun would tease him for literal centuries if he did, and that thought, as well as the shred of dignity Sehun has left, is what keeps him from doing either of those things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s thirteen, and apparently his stamina is worse than that of a literal </span>
  <em>
    <span>ancient.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should arrive any time now,” Baekhyun calls over his shoulder. His voice suggests that he is very much amused by this, and probably thinking the exact same thing Sehun is bemoaning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we even going?” Sehun asks, not for the first  time. “I swear if this has been a prank -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here we are!” Baekhyun exclaims ahead of him, and Sehun almost does end up plopping down on the ground. And crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t, only on account of that stupid shred of dignity, but when he reaches Baekhyun, Sehun forgets the aches and pains of his muscles anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Sehun says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re on a slight hill, overlooking a valley. Snow covers the grounds in a sheen of pristine white, glistening in the colors of the sunset. And Baekhyun has two hands cupped over his chest, a light growing brighter from within.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He told me that it’s prettier in the winter” Baekhyun says, hands holding a big, warm orb of light now, “After snow has covered the grounds.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this point, it’s not even a question who Baekhyun is talking about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun doesn’t bother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he imagines, looking out at the snow covered valley, what his parents might have looked like years ago in this very same place, as the same breathtaking spectacle unfolds before his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the small sun bursts into a million pieces, and Sehun tastes summer lullabies in the dead of winter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then something else joins them, something Sehun knows hadn’t come from Baekhyun’s small sun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sparks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fiery, red sparks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Weaving through the air and dancing around the mini suns, just as bright, just as dazzling. The sunset is ablaze above the snow, and Sehun can’t look away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s technically not from me,” Baekhyun says quietly by his side, “So I guess technically it doesn’t count as a birthday gift.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun doesn’t have to see him to know what’s in his voice now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grief. Longing. Love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a while for Baekhyun to say anything again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re remnants of the mana your father had,” Baekhyun whispers, slight smile on his lips. “He told me he wanted to show it to you in person one day. He said he’d give you the world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun notices things, now. He’s thirteen, and he notices more than he had when he was six and thought Baekhyun was an angel, when he was eleven and thought Baekhyun might hate him, when he was angry and sad and didn’t know who to blame but his father. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He notices. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baekhyun is lighter, now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes aren’t war. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun reaches for Baekhyun’s hand. “Well, I have you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Kyungsoo. And Jongin, and Yixing, and in a way he also has the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun has the world. And he has people who love him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have you,” Sehun says again, because he can.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that’s more than enough.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 499 - It doesn’t hurt anymore, does it?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s an inkling of routine in Sehun’s mornings now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not like it was before, when Sehun lived with Kyungsoo, because back then it was just them. Just the two of them, with patterned mornings where Sehun could count down every breath, every movement, every word without fail. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s routine that had been built for a decade, only to come crashing down brilliantly with Baekhyun’s arrival. His presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m leaving for school,” Sehun calls into the house, shifting his bag on his shoulder. As always. The expected reply comes not a second later, a deeper voice from the direction of the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold on, I’ll give you your lunch,” Kyungsoo says, as always, appearing not a second later with the same dark red apron he’s had since Sehun got it for him five years ago. Sehun takes the offered lunch bag and closes his eyes as the older man ruffles his hair, just in time for another figure to join them by the doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The part of Sehun’s recent mornings that diverge from the routine of before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have cleaning duties today, right?” This voice is loftier, accompanied by dark robes that swish behind their owner. “I guess magic practice is going to have to wait a little longer tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sehun nods. “But you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>going to teach me how to target things with mana today, right?” Sehun asks, accusing, “Baekhyun, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>promised</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it’s been months of just learning to gather it in fifty different ways and at this point I’ll have grey hairs before I learn how to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A laugh, loud and bright.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I will,” Baekhyun confirms, amused smile lighting up his features. “Now you really need to go or you’re going to be late. Remember to tell Jongin and Yixing about dinner this weekend, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctant, and wary of the validity of Baekhyun’s promise, Sehun turns to leave but gets stopped as he’s opening the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gentle lips press against his forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another new part of his mornings, one that still manages to make Sehun’s cheeks flush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be safe,” Baekhyun says, smoothing down Sehun’s hair with a fond smile. “And have fun at school. I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.” Sehun’s reply is an embarrassed mumble, but Baekhyun hears it anyway. He laughs, soft crinkles at the edges of his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll be waiting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As always.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Epilogue: 614</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For a long time, I thought that every day I was waking up in a nightmare.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re never here, for one.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you remember our promise, years ago? You said you’d follow me anywhere, and I told you I wouldn’t bother leaving your side. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ironic, I thought at first, that you were the one who ended up going somewhere I couldn’t reach.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Still, the world is starting to look a little brighter. Funny, isn’t it? I thought I’d never smile again after you were gone. I thought I’d never love again. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s hard though, not to love Sehun.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish you could see him grow. It’s like watching small miracles every single day. He amazes me with all he does.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Our son is breathtaking, Chanyeol.</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>uh</p><p>hi</p><p>first of all i'm so sorry, to chanyeol and baekhyun and sehun and kyungsoo for putting you all through this i promise i love you my babies. especially you, chanyeol, i'm really sorry</p><p>also i am very very sorry to all of you, my subscribers, if you were hoping to get an update on The One, which IS coming soon!!!!!!!!!!! but i was just caught up in a lot of stuff and i'll also explain my reasons for why i didn't update The One for so long in the end notes of the next chapter i update, i promise.</p><p>but for now, please take this humble offering and don't be too mad at me pls</p><p>honestly idek why this story was finished earlier than some of my other fics because i worked on this for a month? not even, because i wrote the bulk of it in like four days, and there are literally fics i've been working on for more than a year that are also shorter but </p><p>ugh</p><p>i digress</p><p>if any of you are confused by the numbering system i used, by the way, which looks completely random i know lmao, i actually just used the exo members' jersey numbers, or combined numbers to create the "Day" numbers (eg. 61 and 4 to make 614, which is chanyeol + baekhyun). i actually had a mini meltdown about this because none of the exos have a 3, which made it so that i couldn't have a single "Day" in the 300s and consequently had a jump from 217 (the biggest 200s number i could make from the exo's numbers, which is jongdae + luhan by the way) all the way to 400 (the smallest 400s number i could make from the exo's numbers, which is baekhyun + yifan)</p><p>and if you're confused by the counting system as well, it's actually counting the days that sehun and baekhyun have met after baekhyun left him with kyungsoo. which is why their meeting when sehun is eleven is titled Day 12 - because baekhyun visited him eleven times before then. </p><p>and yes, the final epilogue is 614 because i'm a sentimental bitch.</p><p>anyway, i've been awake for twenty-seven hours and only due to the help of glorious cheap coffee and i really really need to go to bed, but i promise i'll respond to any comments when i wake up, as well as the comments i haven't responded to yet on my other fics.</p><p>i love yall</p><p>pls stay safe</p><p>also if you have time go check out NoOneFrUkingCares and her other pseuds and works, she is my forever suffering beta and her works are gems</p><p>thanks again, i love you all</p><p>comments and kudos much appreciated, they're really just my lifeblood</p><p> </p><p>PS - a commenter brought this to my notice and i should have said it earlier, but this story was not implying mpreg. at least, i didn't intend to, though i guess it might read differently to someone more familiar with mpreg.</p><p>i don't have anything against people who like mpreg, by the way, i just personally can't stand the idea of it, so sehun was probably born in some magical way. feel free to imagine!! maybe he popped out of a giant flower, who knows. but he is chanyeol and baekhyun's biological child.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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